Love is gone

I tried, I failed. Then I tried again, and failed once more. It was only then I realized, I was already dead. Not in body, but in spirit. My funeral would not come until my body followed. She slowly killed the fun-loving boy inside me, the one who had too many friends, but was happy, carefree. She left behind a hollow shell, just a body, trying to move on, trying to find traces of her in other girls, but failing miserably. Now, the laughter has faded, the joy extinguished. The boy who lived for fun is gone, replaced by someone much too serious for his age. I grew up too fast, forced to be the one who gives advice, the one who watches over others while searching for the pieces of my broken soul. But in this search, I failed, again and again. Still, I keep trying...not for myself, but for my parents, for my brother. My nights are filled with tears and silent breakdowns, while my days are spent doing what is needed, nothing more. What remains is just a body, a vessel that moves, breathes,...

She never spoke to me,  And all I could talk about was her.  She moved on in front of me,  And even after years, I haven’t.  People ask me why I started writing these broken blogs now, after 5 years,  And that, my friend, kept me wondering the same. Then it clicked: maybe my mind never left 2018.  Now that I'm here, living alone, my mind is finally coming back to reality—maybe it's processing or trying to move on from that heartbreak.  I think the problem with men in love is that they want to replicate exactly how they once felt.  By the time they realize they've lost that feeling, it’s too late.  And it’s not coming back. That feeling, that want—it’s strange.  But then I remembered something.  It’s rightfully quoted in the Bhagavad Gita, Chapter 2, Verse 27:  "jātasya hi dhruvo mṛityur dhruvaṁ janma mṛitasya cha  tasmād aparihārye ’rthe na tvaṁ śhochitum arhasi"  Death is certain for one who has been bo...

It's been a while, but what does that "while" mean? For a boy in love, it means years, decades, and his lifetime. It's been a while since he saw her or even heard her, but still, he couldn't forget her radiant shine. It's been a while since he was ghosted, but still, he remembers her as the girl he fell for. It's been a while since he found his love, the one he dreamt of. It's been a while since he was happy and cheerful like everyone around him. But the question is, will he ever be able to move on? NO. Because men in love are the most weird creatures; they never move on. They never forget the moments they spent or the eye contact that lingered. They never forget the peaceful times of just sitting beside each other, simply being happy to be there. I also had a moment that I'll never forget, sitting in a place where we could have gotten in trouble, but who cares? We continued to sit in that auditorium full of teachers, her head on my shoulder, not c...

I just wanna be the most important person in someone's life. I wanna be the person that they are thinking about, when I'm thinking about them. But you know what suck!??, realising everything and I mean everything that you believe in is complete utter bullshit,  Destiny, Soulmates, True Love and all that happy ending stories and movie are just fantasies of broken people. Like I used to make fantasies that me and my soulmate sitting beside eachother listening to music watching the golden hour go by, falling in love every second and just feeling full knowing you have someone. Yeah that sucks. But the thing that suck more are people, especially the people you think are your soulmates. They just leave, ghosting you or telling a mere reason that "It's not working" and not even trying for a second chance. But yet after this much pain, you love them so much that you can't hate them and it's the worst feeling you could have. Affecting your personal life and ...